The myth of perfection and unicorns

I want to focus on perfection and the unconscious obsession many people have with the idea of 'getting there' in terms of their goals. Sadly, this whole focus on 'getting there' and 'getting there' perfectly tends to get people way off track instead of guiding them to their goals. Also, the funny thing is that most people I know don't even know they are reaching for perfection, yet their behaviors and intentions appear to say otherwise, and when they fail to meet it, they end up throwing their hands in the air frustrated. 

Then.. after the frustration comes the 'why bother' mentality. 

There is this cycle that I see many falling into. It's the mis-perception of perfection.
The idea that ONE day... someday, you'll get your eating right 100% of the time.. that your gym time is on-point, that your new ways are embedded beyond your wildest dreams and your body is also a symbol of this perfectionism because your behavior is stellar. 

Here's the thing... This idea that someday, one-day, you'll have this meal plan that you stick to 100% of the time, and your picture perfect body pushes away all chocolate or chips all of the time, and that you float above the world.. 

It's a fallacy. 

The truth is.. this fantasy is all about perfectionism.. and the truth about perfectionism is..... a myth.

Perfectionism keeps you STUCK.

While we all like to think this time will come and we'll be all of these things, the truth is this mythical place, where everything lines up 100% of the time, it doesn't exist. 

Most of the people that work with me closely know that I talk about all the 'balls' they have in the air at any given time, and I use this analogy frequently. 

Just like a juggler, you juggle balls in your life.. You are always juggling your work life (ball 1), home life (ball 2), family expectations (ball 3), and potentially more..

Then we add in your weight loss journey and we now have  protein (ball 4), 64oz of water daily (ball 5), daily fitness (ball 6), daily supplements (ball 7), etc..

You get my point here, right?

So, while this may seem super complex, it's actually not when you PRACTICE the juggling process.

See, just like any new skill, YOU MUST PRACTICE!! 

An expert juggler, or even an olympic figure skater has the potential to fall (and do occasionally!), but the more they practice, the better they get at the loopty-loops and triple axels, etc. 

Similarly, the juggler goes from handling 2-3 balls successfully to juggling 10 or more..   Do they still drop balls?? Sure they do.. but the more they practice, the better they get! 

This is the same for your post-op WLS process. Will there be days that you can handle a 4-ball routine, and the more you practice, you work your way up to a 8-ball routine.. Then, because we are HUMAN, there are days when we really struggle with that 4-ball routine, and really need to focus on self-care and not taking on more than we can handle. 

Then there are days we can handle 6-balls and do our best to focus on the most important ones.

Are you all with me here?

Sure, there may be foods that you recognize are triggering and you may need to strongly push away... yet the thought that your whole world will one day come together with songbirds, a great trainer, and maybe you munching with full satisfaction on broccoli day-in and day-out... it's all a dream. 

And, the idea that we can consistently juggled 10-12 balls and keep smiling despite LIFE is the perfectionistic view of the world... AND... it's not real. 

Are there days that you say screw it and decide to take a nap or rest instead of hitting the gym? 

Yes, realistically, there might be those days.  

But, what is MOST important is not the days that you focus on the balls you CAN'T handle, but instead, that you are doing your best EVERY damn day to focus on the balls you CAN take on that day.. and that you are consistently focusing on personal IMPROVEMENT. And, each and every day you put yourself back in the game to keep trying and focus on getting better. 

For example, if you go from NEVER cooking to cooking and meal prepping for 3-days a week, you are doing great!! Instead of seeing this as "well, I'm not meal prepping for 7-days yet," which is the perfectionistic ideal, you have to focus on WOW, LOOK AT HOW MUCH I HAVE IMPROVED from where I once was. 

So, starting today, please throw out your mythical standards of what your post-op journey SHOULD look like, and accept the reality and ONE step at a time, baby steps, and consistently improve, YOU ARE DOING AWESOME!! 

And, instead of trying to be a unicorn... be the best version of you. 

Focus on balance.
Focus on fulfillment and moderation.
Focus on continuous improvement. 
And focus on getting better at juggling the different aspects of your post-op process. 


Let go of perfectionism and focus on growth! 

Prompts for growth & implementation: 

What areas of your post-op process are you already juggling well? 

What area of your post-op process needs more of your attention? 

What areas in your life need more structure? 

What can you start to improve upon in small steps this week? 

How can you start tracking these small steps to recognize your small successes on a weekly basis? 

Start implementing and track your growth! 

Reminding you that slow and steady gets you to where you want to go!