Confidence, Self-Esteem, and a little more

One thing that we all struggle with is confidence and self-esteem. How do we feel about ourselves following surgery in terms of confidence and self-esteem?

Sure the number on the scale decreases, and the clothing sizes are smaller, but is the confidence exuding just from that? Or can we gain confidence from within? Or is it an issue of self-esteem?

It's important to note that self-esteem and self-confidence are different.

Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall; how much positive regard or self-love you have. Self-esteem develops from experiences and situations that have shaped how you view yourself today.

Self-confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation. I may have healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about situations involving math (this is true).

When you express love for yourself, your self-esteem improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of esteem. You can improve both of these at the same time.

Yet this begins with COMPASSION.

If you are overly critical of yourself, then this harshness shows up and can impact your self-esteem and self-confidence because you’ll end up focusing on what you are doing wrong.

Recognizing that compassion is an important part of the process will help you create self-acceptance and self-love.

No one is perfect and the road to self-love is paved with compassionate understanding for what you have been through (your journey so far), and what you go through day-to-day.

As I write about in Bariatric Mindset Success, self-compassion is much different from self-indulgence. Being compassionate is about showing yourself kindness, respect, and understanding. This doesn’t mean eating a bunch of stuff after a hard day at work - that is an indulgence, not compassion.

Most bariatric patients misunderstand the difference, which is why it is so important to share about compassion and how they impact your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Growing your self-confidence and self-esteem begins with giving yourself high-fives for all the things you are doing RIGHT, instead of counting all the ways you are messing up.

Just for this week, start to write down what you are doing RIGHT, and see if that helps to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Make notes daily on how you can show yourself kindness and compassion that don’t include food at all.

Make notes about your self-talk (how you talk to yourself inside your head) and how this impacts how you feel about yourself. Rather than being a negative nellie, start to write encouraging notes to yourself just like you would to a friend.

This is kindness. This is compassion. This leads to increased self-esteem, self-confidence, and results in self-love.

This is a process. This is a practice. And just like flowers, when you water them they grow.

Water yourself with some kindness and compassion. Start today and let us know how it helps.