The Myth of Failure

I wanted to pop in and talk about failure because this is a topic that I see so many WLS post-ops talking about..

There's the fear of failure, the desire to give up, the doubt a person has that leads them to think they are a failure, the struggle of the process which leads someone to think "why bother?!"

This negative line of thinking keeps people stuck thinking they don't have the opportunity or the chance to succeed. And, it's all due to a faulty belief system, a lack of self-trust, and a weak follow-through muscle.

This process only stops working when you give up or stop trying. Otherwise, you keep going and keep trying new ways to achieve success. This process of lifestyle change after WLS is about gaining new tools, new life skills, and new coping mechanisms so that eating becomes a process for living, NOT a process for coping with life issues, emotional issues, etc.

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Thomas A. Edison

Even Thomas Edison knew that you had to keep trying in order to succeed. The thought pattern surrounding giving up is founded in faulty logic.

Sure you can get down on yourself because things are not working, but maybe you haven't given it enough time.

Sure, you can get down on yourself because you haven't reached goal yet, but maybe your old habits are creeping in, or maybe you're not working the plan, or maybe you're eating off track/emotionally eating, or maybe.... etc.. etc...

"If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." - Tony Robbins

The path to where you want to go must be grounded in new behaviors, new skills, and doing things differently. Like Albert Einstein says about doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same results, it's the definition of insanity. Therefore, it's time to make a change. It's time give your body time to change. It's time to be consistent and committed to long term behavior change. It's also time to be committed to a DIFFERENT belief system, because the old one about hating on yourself is clearly NOT WORKING.

This is not always about your behavior or belief either. Remember we have genetics to deal with too!

Even after losing 200+ pounds, I am no bikini clad goddess, and I fully embrace that I'm not! And, I love my body, and I love who I am inside and out. Additionally, I know genetically, I have a predisposition to being, 'heavier than average', so I worked the plan and worked on loving the body that I achieved after surgery because I worked hard for it.

Whatever your genetics, don't fight it, instead EMBRACE IT.. not everyone is built the same. Some people have square butts. Some people have broad shoulders. Some people have small waists and curvy figures, others are built like a rectangle. Yet, our MODEL of success is sometimes built on this mythical goal of looking like SOMEONE ELSE.. someone that the media tells you that you should look like, instead of trying to be the BEST version of yourself.

Who are you trying to look like exactly? Do you desire to be the best looking, feeling, healthy version of yourself, or do you expect, want, or try to look like someone else?

If you are trying to look like someone else, this also may be impacting your success because the fear of failure gets bigger and louder. How can you possibly work to look like someone else when the person you were created to look like is you?

This is where the process of TRYING YOUR BEST, being committed and consistent with your behaviors also aligns with LOVING THE HELL out of yourself. If you are walking around hating yourself for being you, imagine how your body must be reacting to self-loathing. Why would a body you hate try to look better for you?

So, this process is two fold.. it's about putting in the work to get where you want to go, and simultaneously loving yourself and your body for doing its thing.

If you continue to hate yourself, where will that take you? Do you think your body will easily release weight when you look in the mirror and tell him/her how disgusting he/she is? Do you think the self-hatred, self-criticism and denial of love will get you where you want to go? Would your best friend still be your best friend if you told them daily how awful they are? So, why would you expect to take the same abuse, ONLY, from yourself?

Do you think your body will respond to kindness and love? Do you think your body would respond to you trying your best for it to be healthy?

Instead of hating on your journey. Instead of believing that you're a failure. Instead of believing SO HARD in failure, what if you put a little effort into faith?

What if you put a little faith in yourself? What if you worked on building up some self-trust? What IF.... you worked on loving that person inside your body? What would happen then?

See, failure is feared and so much effort is poured into "What if I fail?" that you never asked the question from that amazing quote "What if I fly?" - You've already lost because you never believed in trying.. you may have never believed in "NO MATTER WHAT", and I'm here to tell you that this is easy to change.

It's a day-in, day-out process. NO MATTER WHAT, I'll do my best. NO MATTER WHAT, I'm not giving up. Even on the hard days.. Even on the messy day.. Even on the days when its all too much.... failure ONLY occurs when you give up.

So, remember that YOU are in charge of this journey, and it's not over until you say it is, and technically, this journey is never over... the process of growing, learning, healing, and trying is all part of the lifestyle change process.

Failure is not something to be feared. Giving up is something to be feared.

So just for today.. work on shifting your mindset to working on you, loving you, practicing TRYING things on... FOR YOU!

This is where you begin to flex your self-trust muscle and your follow-through muscle. You've got to work it in order for it to work. This process is about you taking steps to better your life, and it happens day to day, not overnight.

Start with this mantra today: Just for today, I am committed to myself. I build consistency in my daily routine. I seek to find the love in me that others see in me. I choose to get to know who I am, what I want, and I aim to be the best version of myself. I am achieving this by practicing self-kindness, tough love, and following through on what I say I will do. I honor myself each and every day.

Take ONE step today for you.. and build on that step every day. Failure is not something that happens, it's something that you choose when you avoid doing the work and you throw in the towel. I know NONE of you are throwing in the towel. So stop fearing something that YOU have control over, and take your power back! Your power lies in your choices, your decisions, and your actions. So take action and start BELIEVING in yourself and STOP selling yourself short.

I hope this resonates with you today and I hope you start to give up the believe and attitude of failure.. you're already a success because you keep trying!