Your Identity Matters: Who are you becoming?

Have you started having more fun with your lifestyle change yet? Keep me posted on how you are implementing from last time because I promise when you integrate that and change your perspectiveand mindset about what is "hard" versus what you can make "fun" or "easy", things definitely begin to shift!!

Today I want to talk more in-depth about your identity and how this makes a BIG difference in who you are and how you see yourself. This also has a lot to do with implementing too because if you’re focused on who you are NOT (in your mind’s eye) rather than who you are "becoming", you’ll end up focusing on the wrong thing, reinforcing the exact persona you are attempting to escape.

Remember my last email I talked about the person who said "I’m not the type of person that likes to workout" or the one that says "I’ve never been an athlete" ???

The topic for today is about who you are becoming and what is important to you and your journey.And, yes, this can change!!

You may have heard me use a quote in my previous work or emails that says "old ways won’t open new doors". Similarly, the person that doesn’t workout after weight loss surgery also gets stuck in part of the old patterns. How can they expect to see external change if the internal changes to do something different hasn’t happened?

Sure, some weight is lost just due to a smaller stomach and reduced food intake.

But... do those people who ONLY rely on this get to where they want to be in the long-term? Or do they regain weight? Or do they reach a plateau and stay there?

For someone who's desire it is to live this lifestyle long-term and NOT regain any weight, what needs to change is not just your behaviors and your habits, but also your IDENTITY.

And before you freak out about that.. hear me out.

Your old identity may have been the person who sat on the couch with chips and didn't workout at all. Your old identity may have been someone who didn't believe in themselves at all. Your old identity may have been someone who took everyone's crap and never stood up for yourself.

The OLD you may have said things like....

I’m horrible at math
I’m not a morning person
I'm not someone who cooks

The more the thought or activity is tied to your identity the more frequently you’ll consciously need to align with it. Similarly, you program your mind to create patterns of what you DO or DON'T do based on this identity, and when you repeat certain behaviors over and over, the identity is created.

Your identity emerges out of your habits. And, your habits create your identity.


Your habits help you embody the identity you WANT to create and as a result, you become the type of person you WANT to be. Obviously this process is TWO-FOLD..

You have to be conscious of the behaviors as they are part of your identity, and likewise begin to ask yourself.. WHAT DOES THE NEW IDENTITY BELIEVE? WHAT DOES THE NEW IDENTITY CHOOSE?


The new identity is the person who DOES move his/her body and believes it's easy to do so, and makes a conscious effort to do so. The new identity is the person who BELIEVES wholeheartedly that he/she can get to their intended goals. The new identity is the person who uses their newfound VOICE to speak their mind and say when enough is a enough and sets healthy boundaries.

Which of these identities are you choosing?? The old you? or the new empowered you?

On any given day you can CHOOSE who you want to become and who you are BEING.

The important thing is the most of the time you're leaning into who you WANT to be, rather than obsessing over "not being THERE yet," or freaking out about old habits too much.

The best kind of question to ask on any given day is "Am I being the kind of person I want to be today?" or.. "Is this the kind of activity/behavior that the NEW me would be doing?"

This will give you insight into whether you're committed to the NEW way of being and your NEW identity, of WHO you are becoming and WHO you want to be...

or whether you're committed to the OLD identity.

This does take some conscious effort so be aware of WHO you are being in any moment and a practice of BEING who you want to become.

The old you won’t behave in the same capacity as the new you. So it’s time to decide who you want to be.

No longer do you get to blame autopilot on your behaviors because when you do, that’s just you acting out the behaviors of the old persona, the old identity.

The new you stands in his/her power and makes a conscious choice over and over. The new you isn’t required to always make the best choice, but the new you is conscious and choosing. That’s the biggest difference.

For today and this week:

Recognize that your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity and the two are in alignment (behaviors = identity you are choosing).
When your behavior and identify are aligned, you’re simply acting as the person you already believe yourself to be.

For example if someone were to hand you a cigarette and you've never been a smoker you'd likely say "Oh no thanks, I don't smoke", whereas if you were a smoker but trying to quit and still identify with that old identity subconsciously you may say, "no thanks I'm trying to quit"- do you see how these two are totally different??

In the diet mindset (which we are trying to squash by the way...), if you are offered some cake, you might say something like.. "no thanks, I'm on a diet", whereas if you have already shifted your mindset to an identity of someone who doesn't eat cake regularly and this isn't part of your routine, you might say "no thanks, I'm not a cake person" - do you see the total difference in those identities??
The dieting identity is TRYING to stop eating, but states that he/she is restricting.. where as the identity of the person who doesn't eat cake is EMBODYING the persona, and that's just not something they do.

Of course this is an example. Take this and build your own list of WHO you want to become, and WHAT behaviors the NEW YOU embodies.. How is this identity linked to the behaviors you want to create for yourself?

Write down a list of behaviors or tasks that the *NEW YOU* performs.
What type of identity does this create for you?

Then act out 1-2 behaviors that are in alignment. Also, start to see the identity and behaviors as linked as a way to help you get in the alignment of the new you. Remember this is linked in BEHAVIORS which create new HABITS and forms the new IDENTITY, and in the reverse you can pinpoint which behaviors are in or out of alignment with that identity.

I hope this helps you CHOOSE who you are becoming and let go of who you no longer wish to be..